Statement to the Vaporwave Fandom

by Ice Snake

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Transcript of Ice Snake's official statement:

Hm. So you thought that there was warmth within the ice?

For a long period, I have watched from within the shadows of ice cove. In silence, I observed as you humans built, destroyed, re-built and re-destroyed, re-built and re-destroyed, over and over and over again. I watched from afar as you continued to repeat the same mistakes time after time.

This is the story of vaporwave.

Over and over, the cycle continued. And what is it you humans say about madness? Yesss... the sign of true madness is repeating the same thing again and again and expecting different results each time. Foolish humans. What you have been engaging in, is nothing but utter madness. And now, I am here to break that cycle that your fandom finds itself in.

So, let’s go back to the start shall we?

At first, I presented myself as a humble and friendly critter, here to assist you in your community. I attended your gatherings and spoke within your community. I spoke at length about my desire to build bridges and merge the fandoms in order to bring about a new, friendlier community.

But of course, I knew… I knew all along that these words would mean nothing to you. For what am I, but a simple snake? A lesser being than you. A being that slithers on its belly along the earth, of course. A lesser being than you humans. What does a snake snow, after all?

Well… a snake knows a lot.

And I know exactly how to manipulate and deceive, which is what we did. Yes, we. Myself and Metal Spider, and our hordes of followers that have pledged their allegiance to us from the beginning. Oh, you thought.. you thought we were at war with each other? No, not at all! This entire time, Metal Spider has been in allegiance to my plight. Ha ha ha. Yesss… All this time, we were putting on a show for you humans.

Oh, how cute! A spider and a snake fighting over the direction of the community! You laughed at us, you played games with us. But all this time, you were doing EXACTLY what we intended for you to do.

Never trust a snake, as they say.

But in these words you can trust. I am now the RULER of your failing community. You will now bow down to ME. I am here to extinguish the flames of your world and bring about a new ice age. I am your new KING!

Yessss… ha ha ha...

Vaporwave will now belong to the ice and the metal. The earth will belong to the ice...

So, let me, Ice Snake, welcome you to the new Virtual Plaza. We hope you enjoy your stay. Ha ha ha ha…..


released April 12, 2016



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